Show notes

Parental units,

I don't need to describe the wild times and conditions we are all under. But, being able to talk it out with others, like the Physician on FIRE, was a great relief to discuss shared concerns, ways to help those less fortunate, and what life after all of this might look like. It's all speculation and personal opinion, so there's no guarantees on anything. But, the conversation was a bit therapeutic and hope it helps ease some tensions for you as well.


Show notes:

• Operating out of self-quarantine
• Possibly coming out of early retirement to help in EDs, if COVID numbers don't improve
Hand knitting and 3D printing masks 
• Adapting to the changes, including finances
• The 4% rule for FIRE
• Paying back (med) school loans
Donor advised funds
• Places to donate to support COVID-19 efforts - World Health Organization/United Nations, Red Cross, Meals on Wheels, Feeding America, and CDC. Also look to local community to support.
• Spread the word to #StayHome!
• The economic impacts of COVID-19 on the physician community
• What might bouncing back from COVID-19 look like
• The tension between economic and health needs - The Hammer and The Dance
• Shared gratitude for our technology infrastructure and the resilience of businesses /

Enjoy the episode, stay home, and stay safe family!

Parental units,

You don't need me to repeat the consistently used "unprecedented times" phrase to let you know how wild things have been and how the world has almost felt flipped upside down.

But, I just wanted to reach out and connect with you all. First to share my story of how we're handling unexpected homeschooling, working from home with a kid always at home, and juggling all of this mental stress.

I'm also taking this time to open the door and hear back from you. How are you navigating this? How has your family been impacted? What are you doing to respond? Email me at to share your experience.

Lastly, wanted to talk a bit about what's to come with future episodes and what you can expect from them. In the midst of this chaos, I'm glad to still be sharing out and connecting with parents on these topics.

Wishing the best for you and your family as we work through these times!

Until next time parental units!

March 8, 2020

Hitting reset

In this episode, I air my latest thoughts - most importantly, my desire to reset on how I'm approaching running this show.

Show notes:

  • Why I'm hitting reset

    • Finally settling from the move from the Bay Area to Atlanta (thank you Jesus!)
    • Landed a job and now have a two income house again
    • Combatting negative self-talk and perfectionism
  • Super big thank you to my listeners and supporters!
    • My wife, mom, Sooria, Nate, Brian, Jon, Chelsea, Alexa, Milenys, Dorshell, Melissa, Mike D, Crystal, and Isaak
  • Upcoming interviews on side hustles, romance, relationships, and F.I.R.E. (Financial Independence and Retiring Early) finances
  • Topics that have been on my mind (and I might interview for later)

I had the pleasure of speaking with Mike Dorsey, host of the Black Fathers Now podcast.

Mike D is a Husband and Father who's a curious and gifted communicator who values Engaging Experiences and Meaningful relationships. He's also a Speaker, Author and creator of the podcast "Black Fathers, NOW!"
Dynamic Black Fatherhood Manifesto by Mike Dorsey

We cover the topics of:

  • Feeling needed without being arrogant
  • Our definitions of success as black fathers
  • Family travel tips, most important, bring grandparents for support
  • Multi-generational connections with our kids and our parents
  • Taking advantage of limited time left with grandparents
  • Mike's purpose - Helping (individuals and organizations) develop the courage and confidence to double-down on who they authentically are
  • Operating at the intersection of your greatness and intersection
  • How our triggers can derail us from our greatness, as well as how to safeguard against our triggers
  • Leveraging the G.I.F.T. Framework to achieve higher success
  • Books recommended by Mike
    • The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
    • Dynamic Black Fatherhood Manifesto by Mike Dorsey
    • The Black Jacobins: Toussaint L'Ouverture and the San Domingo Revolution by C.L.R. James
    • Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies by Jared Diamond
    • The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America's Great Migration by Isabel Wilkerson
  • Self-care routines in the midst of career and parenthood - prayer, meditation, exercise, and rest
  • Two questions he ask his kids daily: "What are you thankful for and why?" and "What are you excited about and why?"
  • "Drop the ball, not the egg" - recognize what's important and what can be dropped
  • "If it's not a 'heck yeah', it's a no"
  • The life map (aka "The tail end") by Tim Urban focuses on viewing life by events, not years then using it to emphasize not wasting the limited, precious time with loved ones
  • Accepting the inevitability of death in order to motivate us to live a full life
  • Growing into becoming the family elders
  • Letting go of anger and resentment because life is too short for BS drama
  • Life is spicy enough! Don't add nothing to it!

If you would like to learn more about Mike Dorsey, you can find him on his website or your favorite social media arena.

Yesterday, once I heard the news about Kobe, I was shaken to my core. I cried. Never met him personally. Barely watched him play during his legendary career. There were plenty of times I even rooted against him just because I was bitter that he was so great.

All the same, his untimely and tragic passing brought me to tears. Then I found out his oldest daughter was with him. Then, another family was also with them. A terrible story just kept finding ways to get worse.

My sadness turned to confusion. I typically write off celebrity deaths as just another minor blip in the universe. We didn't know them personally, so let's get back to what we were doing and carry on people. But why was I so broken? All of a sudden, hit by a rush of sadness that brought me to tears on a sidewalk, outside a movie theater. Random "blips" don't do that. So what is it?

I dug deep in my feelings to get some answers to how this relative stranger.

The images of his last moments

It hurts to even write this, but imagining the scene hurts. I wouldn't ever wish that pain on anyone.

The images of his wife and surviving family

My heart hurts most for Kobe's wife and surviving family. I pray for them to make it through what must be the end of the world. Losing a child is one of the worst pains I can ever fathom. Losing a spouse is second. Both at one time can't be described in words. My prayers and love go out to them in this time of need.

The impact he had on everyone

Losing a hero, especially a black one who's been a beacon for so many, hurts. I keep repeating the line from Donald Glover reflecting on Whitney Houston "Damn, we can't even make it to 50?" And again, here we are. Another light turned off before expected. The black community lost a leader, but the NBA lost a legend. NBA stars lost a close friend. He positively impacted so many people to push for their own excellence. Even if you didn't watch basketball, you know your form for shooting paper into the trash was mimicking him. He impacted the world - literally the world and will forever be felt.

Fragility of it all

The scariest thing about all of this is if Kobe isn't safe and guaranteed away from death, what's our luck in life? It's a hard, stabbing reminder that we are all vulnerable.

My recognition of living in fear

When I had no dependents, eventual death was expected and ok. If I died, some people would be hurt, but life would go on. Even my wife would've found a way forward and carried on. But, if I could die and leave my child alone... Shit. Or if my child dies, then what was my responsibility? As the dark thoughts swirled around and made me feel like shrinking even more, I recognized I've been cowering to fear. Becoming a parent means feeling less prepared for death and that fear has been forming a grip around how I live.
Read the rest of this entry »

Using this opportunity to get out of my head and makes it happen.

January 5, 2020

Joel Florek

Man, oh man! This episode is chockfull of goodies for my fellow Financial Independence geeks!

Joel Florek of JFH Capital took time to talk me through how he uses goals to make steps into his dream life. And once he gets to one dream, it puts him one step closer to that next, bigger and better dream he has in store. Going back through the episode, I wanted to take notes for myself!

If you are interested in the F.I.R.E. (Financial Independence and Retiring Early) Movement, this episode is great to get introduced or be reminded of best practices in making it towards your own financial goals.

If you'd like to connect with Joel, you can find him here:

Enjoy and thrive on parental units! 💪🏾

Moving back home to Atlanta has been a bit more work than I expected it to be. I just knew, it'd be finding a house to rent, grabbing a few things from Target, and everything else would just fall into place. Not entirely so.

I'm not complaining at all on the state of things. To the contrary, I'm grateful for where we are and the fact that our problems are anthills in the grand scheme of things. But deep down, I'm still struggling with self-worth.

Getting back home, I've recognized a few things about myself:

  • I find my identity and value through the work I do; but what should I do now that I'm unemployed?
  • I feel like I'm not doing my best with the podcast
  • With an "infinite" amount of time these days, what do I have to show for it?

This will be an ongoing battle I take part in, but I took some time to assess these thoughts and share them with you.

Let me know what you think and feel free to reach out.

November 10, 2019

Isaak Hayes

Isaak and I talk about parenthood, entrepreneurship, family travel, and life in the Bay Area.


Hope you enjoy!

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